Neptune Riots

femen (23).jpg

This is an excerpt from Neptune Riots, a chapter in Do, Re, Mi and the Big C by Ernest Samuel Llime. The entire novel can be found at  The picture is of an actual Femen pro-choice protest in Paris.

Some would say it was auspicious that January 7th 2007 had hit a record temperature of 72° Fahrenheit. Were it 2006, naked women would have been unlikely as the temperature for the 7th of January that year had hovered around freezing for the entire day. The blonde with the megaphone was actually the Femen world leader Marina Shevchenko and she was leading the chants by yelling a line into the megaphone which will then be repeated by everyone. ‘My Body, My Rules’ she yelled and everyone picked it up, ‘Femen Power’, ‘God created Femen’, ‘Religion Is Slavery’, ‘Rope-a-Dope the Pope.’ At the same time Father Pavone started leading  the pro-lifers in chants as well – the mixed chanting created some situations that were quite funny when the varying chants randomly complemented each other: ‘Pro-Life’, ‘I’m Not Your Wife’, ‘Abortion Kills Our Hope’, ‘Rope-a-Dope the Pope’, ‘Abortion says the Devil’, ‘The Pope’s the Greatest Evil.’ As they were approaching the flank of the pro-lifer crowd, the Femen front line linked arms with each other and it was obvious that they were going to ram the opposition.

 Lowell had decided to add to the fun by cranking up the calliope. Alon and Mei-Lin were working on their knife juggling routine and being that a few kids were still waiting outside the fence, Lahava had decided to breathe fire. Noelle and Lowell would once in a while jump up and start chasing each other yelling at the top of their lungs. Everybody inside the yard was having a great time, while outside, things were coming to a head. The four cops huddled by their cars were frantically talking into their police car radio microphones. It seemed like they were told again to sit tight unless violence occurred. By the time they realized that the Femen meant business it was too late. The first line of half-naked women plowed into the flank of the pro-lifers, tits first and aiming high. The latter were obviously not equipped to handle this kind of situation and Femen’s strategy proved superior once again. Most males would love to grab a female by the tits and squeeze them, but not in the middle of the street while being flanked by their wives and their church going friends. The women may not have had the same compulsion, but they certainly were not going to grab other women’s tits in public no matter what. So the Femen plowed through the others like a plow through the Earth – whoever did not move quickly enough fell to the ground and got stepped over. The pro-lifers caught on eventually and some of them tackled the women’s legs – the Femen line broke and it became a one on one kind of thing with a lot of tits being shoved into guys faces with a taunt “Come on grab them!” or “You like my tits?” while at the same time they would sucker punch their opponent. The police finally got their reinforcements so they got into the melee as well using their truncheons liberally and without much discrimination. Not trained for this kind of situation and even though a small percentage of the police force were women, a lot of tit grabbing occurred anyway – it is difficult to subdue a half-naked woman without at some point grabbing her by the tits.

 A couple of free-lance reporters who were usually monitoring the police wavelength had a ball snapping some great pictures. A lot of them made it into next day’s papers with black rectangles and a lot of others made it to the internet minus the rectangles. The police reported arresting 50 protesters, most of who were let out on bail.




About The Llime

I am a singer/songwriter/author
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1 Response to Neptune Riots

  1. Pingback: Femen | The Llime

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